4 years ago today...

my life was changed forever.

it was on this day finishing out 2003 that my husband asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.

of course, i knew way before then that i would most definitely be spending forever with him. we professed our love for each other about 2 weeks into our relationship.

i remember the first time i saw him. i was walking to class at asu and saw him in passing. i turned around to take a second look. i remember going home and telling kylah that i saw the most gorgeous boy i had ever seen. this was definitely different because i even noticed his eye color. if you know me, you know that's not what i look for. i usually notice a smile...but not this one. of course, how could you not notice those eyes?

it wasn't until the next semester that i saw him again. we were majoring in the same thing and started college at the same time, yet never met until the end of our junior year. of course, he was engaged at the time. i DID NOT pursue him. i accepted that he was engaged and forgot about him.

okay, that's not exactly what happened. it ended up that we had like every class together that semester. how could i forget him?

we talked quite a bit at school. we had a class together that summer. he slept almost every day and still made an A. i, on the other hand, made a B. how do i know this? because i called him, okay!! i called to see what he made in class. he's the one who asked for my number "just in case" he needed to get in touch with me.

it didn't take much for him to realize the one he was with was not...well...the one he should be with...er...me. so, he broke it off and we started dating the next day.

5 months later we were engaged, and 5 months after that we were married.

that brings us to today.

my love,
we have definitely not had a boring 4 years together. you make everyday fun and interesting. you always know how to put a smile on my face. we are now expecting our 2nd son and i can't wait for him to meet his daddy. you are the best friend, husband and dad to our children that i could ever ask for. i waited so impatiently for this day 4 years ago. i couldn't wait to begin forever with you. i love you more than any words can say. you are my partner and my best friend. i can't wait to see what tomorrow holds.
i love you!

christmas

santa definitely came through for my little boy...put a big smile on his cute little face.

jacob woke up really early christmas morning to come to our bed...like i said he would. finally around 7:30 i couldn't take it anymore. i had to get up. i just couldn't wait!

i went in by the tree and got the camera ready while jerry woke jacob up. he walked into the living room we had already put up santa's cookie plate.

jacob said, "santa ate all my cookies...and he took my plate!" so cute.

he proceeded to walk up to the tree and there it was...nighttime rescue buzz lightyear...standing there in all his glory. jacob stopped...looked at me...looked at buzz...gave me the cheesiest smile...hesitantly walked over and picked him up. he didn't want to let him go...until we told him he could open up his presents, of course.

it was just so much fun this year. he enjoyed opening every package and seeing what was inside. just to see his eyes light up was the best christmas present i could've asked for.

my parents came in a little later and brought his john deere front loader. he was quite excited about that also.

here's a few pictures from the day. of course, i'm always the one taking the pictures. my boys are going to look back at pictures when they're older and wonder if they even had a mom! =)

leaving cookies for santa


the infamous buzz


so happy


amazement


teenage mutant ninja turtle...turtle power!


there's that cheesy smile...almost looks evil.


a rare picture of me and my boy


spoiled brat...you think he likes cars?


little farmboy...boots and all


who's having more fun here...jacob or daddy?

never ending

once again, here i sit on sunday morning at home while my boys are at church. i really thought after this week, i'd be able to do whatever i wanted.

wrong.

thursday, the doctor told me i could do whatever i wanted after 36 weeks! what happened to 34??

so as it stands now, i'm stuck at home for another 2 1/2 weeks. i was supposed to go back to work on january 3rd. now i go back to the doctor on january 3rd. i guess we'll find out then when i can actually go back to work. i'm going to try my best to convince her i'll be fine to return on the 7th. that's the first day the kids are back. i really need to be there.

for now, i'll remain at home...except for tomorrow night. i'll be at the christmas eve service. i won't miss it!

i miss all you guys so much. i miss seeing my friends.

tomorrow...i'll see you tomorrow!

i can't wait...

for christmas morning.

i can't wait for my little boy to wake up, walk into the living room and see his nighttime rescue buzz lightyear that santa brought him standing in front of the tree with a big red bow on it.

what will probably happen is he'll wake up really early, like 5ish and come to our bed. this would be wonderful because then i could have my camera out to capture the moment he sees it.

i can't wait to see the look on his face.

it's been so fun this year because he's at the age where he knows what he wants. he's been asking for this buzz for a long time!

i just can't wait!

there's nothing like seeing a smile on your child's face and knowing you put it there.

of course, then my parents are coming later and bringing him a giant motorized john deere front loader! buzz will be thrown in the background. but i don't care. that one moment of joy will make it all worth it!

did i mention i can't wait?!?!

i can't even think of words to sum this up.

is it bad that i am so incredibly not prepared for a newborn?

i mean, in reality, he could come ANYTIME. granted, nothing has changed from the last doctor's visit...unless of course, you consider that my contractions are becoming a little more painful and i'm feeling a small sense of pressure down there. i really don't think it's anything to worry about...it's just different than what i've been feeling.

maybe it's just my imagination...yes, imagination.

i'm going to go back to work on january 3 and work until february 5 because i will be induced on february 6. i will then return to work on march 10...yes, march 10. that's 4 weeks. 4WEEKS! this is ludicrous.

oh, and on the point of not being prepared...we do have the essentials, crib, car seat, stroller, some clothes and blankets, but the nursery is not yet painted, i have nowhere to put those clothes that we do have, those clothes need to be washed because they've been in storage, i don't even want to think about how many more diapers we need besides the 2 small packages we have, i need to get a bath tub, i need to actually buy new clothes for the little guy, other than the one lone shirt we have hanging in the closet...how sad is that? i'm 7 1/2 months pregnant and have bought one stinkin' shirt!!

and the kicker...we thought we had daycare lined up for casen. ha! she called the other day and said that she had 3 people call her in one week needing a place and wanted to know if we wanted her to hold our spot. she's family, and this is where jacob went. she was just holding the spot as a favor. of course, we don't want her to be put in any kind of financial burden, so we told her to just do what she needed to do. so now, on top of everything else, i have to search for a suitable place for my baby to stay. i have a real problem with sending him to a large daycare. i really like the idea of having him in a home somewhere...with just a few other kids. the same goes for jacob. right now, he's in a quaint little daycare with not too many kids and he loves it. plus, it's hard to just leave your child with a stranger.

i shouldn't have even begun this post. i think i had all this pushed in the back of my mind where it couldn't come out and once i started typing, it's like the flood gates were opened!

we have been so incredibly blessed lately. we've have WONDERFUL people bringing us meals, we've had unexpected money come in which takes some of the stress off, casen is staying in for now and i know God will keep it that way until He is ready for him to come out, and i feel like things have somewhat smoothed over with my boss. he acted better when i saw him yesterday, trying to convince me to not worry about school right now.

there's just so much to do and knowing that casen could come anytime is so overwhelming. i don't even know where to begin.

another random thought

have you ever noticed how much the words stinkin' and freakin' get used in our blogs? definitely not stinking and freaking. no, there are no g's in these words we use. it's quite comical.

i don't know what's worse...

not having access to blogs or not having access to e-mail.

the latter of the two is my experience today. i haven't been able to get in all day. it's quite frustrating. so, if you've e-mailed me and just thought i was apparently too busy to reply, (ha!), i do have a legitimate excuse.

random thought

narrow doorways, a laundry basket, and a very pregnant woman don't mix.

better late than never

with everything going on, i almost forgot it was time for the 7 month picture.

i think this is the most dramatic change yet!



for the first time, i had to take the picture in actual maternity pants. at 7 months, i think that's pretty good. lets just hope i make it to take at least the 8 month picture.

clouded anticipation

okay. i'm expecting a baby...possibly very soon...in the next 8 1/2 weeks at the most.

so why is it that my brain is clouded with everything under the sun, except my baby boy?

the main culprit...school.

just about every waking thought i have has something to do with...

• worrying about my students while i'm gone;
• planning for the next 3 months;
• getting copies made and everything laid out for my return after christmas break;
• my boss and what else he can do to make me feel any more inadequate, inferior, unprepared, horrible, failure of a teacher;
• burdening other teachers...pam and monica...with little things i can't do while i'm on house arrest;
• and any other school related topic that just happens to pop into my mind.

then there's the upcoming holiday...christmas...which i'm not even supposed to go out shopping for.

my birthday tomorrow, which i'm not even supposed to do anything to celebrate.

the painting of the nursery, which i'm not supposed to leave the house to pick out a paint color...much less paint.

of course, as i'm sitting here typing, stressing about all these things, jacob is laying on the couch trying to sing along with the little einstein's theme song...all i can do is smile.

so in the days ahead, i should be anticipating the birth of another baby, ready to hold him in my arms, ready for jacob to meet his baby brother, ready to stop worrying about him and his health and the possibility of preterm labor.

instead, my head is clouded. this is a problem i've struggled with for as long as i can remember. my prayer, almost daily, is that the Lord would reveal to me how to clear things from my mind. how can i focus on only Him? how can i break through all the mundane things and get to a quiet place with Him?

the same applies here. i can't even focus on having a baby...one of the biggest moments in a woman's life...due to all the other things going on.

this is definitely not the happiest post, but for those of you who might have been wondering why there are no sweet, sappy baby posts...now you know why. something else always gets in the way.

update

i saw most of you guys at the progressive dinner, but i'll update you anyway.

i went to the doctor on thursday. the contractions are still coming, but i haven't dilated anymore. we did the fetal fibronectin test, and i'm assuming it came back negative because she said if it were positive she would start me on some kind of steroid to stop labor. i never got that call, so i take that as a good sign.

the bad news is i have to continue my bed rest for 3 more weeks. i can't even travel home for christmas. this will be the first christmas ever that i didn't spend at my parents' home. hopefully they will make it here at some point.

i will return to work after christmas break, january 3, given that i haven't had the little guy yet. at that time, i'll be somewhere around 35 weeks and the doctor is comfortable with me delivering anytime after that. i'll work until i deliver and then take MINIMAL time off due to the fact all my days have been eaten up with bed rest. having a healthy baby is definitely worth it.

so for the next 3 weeks, i will remain at home, most likely planning for the next 2 six weeks of school. feel free to stop by, call, whatever. i'll be here!

oh, and if you weren't here on friday for the progressive dinner, then you may not know that our newest addition has a name...

CASEN DAVID RAMIREZ

just pics

here's some pictures i took of jacob today.

so cute

i'm sitting at the computer today, and jacob's playing outside while jerry and dan hang our christmas lights.

i left the back door cracked so jacob could call me if he needed to.

he comes to the door and says,

"hey, momma."

"yes, baby."

"you okay, baby?" (in the cutest voice ever.)

things that need to be done...

that i can no longer do.

• hang christmas lights outside
• clean the house
• paint baby's room
• hang pictures on wall
• go grocery shopping
• go christmas shopping
• get EVERYTHING done at school

most of this will be left up to my husband for the time being.

4 out of the 7 need to be done by next weekend.

yikes!

all i wanted

today's my first full day off for resting.

it's been just wonderful. (i only wish you could hear the sarcasm in my voice.)

i've read e-mails, made my blog rounds about 5 times already (are you people working or what??), i took a shower, and watched tv inbetween.

i decided to get out of the house to go to the bank and grab some lunch.

no, i didn't get out of the car. i know my boundaries.

i went to chick fil a for lunch.

i really wasn't that hungry...just really, really thirsty for a diet coke.

i order my food and drive off.

i'm so ready to take a drink of that fresh diet coke.

i put the straw in, take a big gulp, and almost spit it out!

it was the flattest diet coke i've ever had in my life!

horrible.

all i wanted was a stinkin' diet coke!

i had to come home and settle for the one lone thing other than water that we had in our fridge...caffeine free diet coke...so not the same!

i really thought...

today was going to be a good day.

i got up at a decent time, made it to school at a good time, got through 1st and 2nd period, and then...

my principal delivered my appraisal.

it wasn't great, but not bad. i won't go into details about it.

i had a doctor's appointment right after that. so far, i've gained a total of 18 pounds. this appointment was only 3 weeks from the last. i knew i gained weight, i was just waiting to see how much.

i stepped on the scales and it read 7 pounds heavier! in 3 weeks...7 pounds!

so, i'm up to 25. i thought that would be the worst of my worries today.

the doctor gets called out for a delivery and we have to wait for her.

i had mentioned to the nurse that i have been having braxton hicks contractions for a while, but they're getting more frequent. she told me the doc would probably examine me, just to make sure everything was okay, but it was probably perfectly normal.

dr. adams finally got there and agreed with the nurse. she still wanted to check to make sure.

while she's examining me, she gets this look on her face like something's up.

i'm dilated to a 1 right now. i'm 30 weeks.

she said it could be just from being pregnant before, but there was no way to know for sure without watching me closely for a while.

she asked where i was working right now and i told her i was a teacher.

"so you're on your feet all day?"

"yes."

"i'm going to take you off your feet for a couple of weeks."

i'm sorry...what? after that, i seriously tuned out. i don't know any details of what she said after hearing that, other than i go back on thursday to do some test to determine the probability of me going into labor in the next week or two.

again, she said it's probably just from being pregnant before, but we must make sure.

so, as of today, i'm home...resting. i'll be here for at least the next week, maybe two.

no working, no shopping, no major cooking, no cleaning.

what's left to do?

blogging...of course. the only problem is, as you know from a previous post, my laptop is going out. at this moment we have a monitor hooked up to it so i can actually use it.

i can't put a monitor in bed with me or even on the couch. i'm sitting at the desk right now, probably not what i'm supposed to be doing. what will i do for the next week??

i really feel normal...if that's possible when you're pregnant. the past couple of weeks, i've felt REALLY pregnant, but still okay. it's very hard to be resting when you feel okay.

i guess i have no choice.

please pray.

overdue pictures

here's a little slide show of jacob at my parents' and at our house.

(i'm at school...so no music, marme.)

tragedy

my laptop is dying...yes, dying. something is wrong with the screen.

by some miracle, i just happened to be able to post at school this morning...even though there are 50 other things i should be doing, i felt it important to give you advance warning of my probable absence from blogging.

since i'm here...

we had a wonderful thanksgiving. we had lunch with one of jerry's co-workers on thursday and then headed to my parents. it snowed on us the entire way home. by the time we arrived at their house, the ground was covered. my mom already had her christmas lights up and on just so jacob could see them more than just at christmas.

he was amazed when we drove in the driveway. my mom does nothing so-so. they have a huge front yard and the majority was covered in something christmas.

jacob got to spend time with his grandma and papa...he's been wanting to so badly. we got to spend time with family and just relax.

of course, it's back to work full force this morning...only 4 weeks to christmas break.

on a random note, pregnancy heartburn has come on full force, making it so hard to sleep. my shirts are too small. unfortunately, i can't find any that i like well enough to spend money on. you people are just going to have to suffer through a bulging belly.

i just noticed the calendar on my classroom wall still says october!

hopefully, we will have a healthy family again. our colds are subsiding. jerry goes to the doctor tomorrow for a full work-up on his blood pressure. jacob seemed okay this morning, so we're not taking him back to the doctor. i go back on thursday for my check-up. did i tell you she's already got me going every 2 weeks??

i think i'm almost 30 weeks. only 10 more to go!

i'm having a very hard time lately thinking of having 2 children. i worry so much about jacob and how he will handle it. i worry about me and the guilt i will feel from holding a newborn and having my 2 year old long to be in my lap. i'm having such anxiety that i can hardly look at the nursery right now. i just want to close the door and not think about it. i'm savoring every moment i have with jacob. i know full well that everything will be fine and my love will be multiplied. God will provide me with sufficient time and attention for both.

this is not where i wanted to go with this post. i must stop now, because school hasn't even started and the tears are flowing down my face.

from reading this, i have no idea where i was planning on going.

hopefully our computer will be fixed soon or my school laptop will continue to let me post. if not, i'll miss you guys!

happy thanksgiving!

wonderful friends

i have the most wonderful friends!

if you were at the shower yesterday, you know why.

they did an AMAZING job on decor, food, gifts...and just making me feel plain special!

i had such a wonderful time at the shower. everything was so beautiful!!

jenny, kj, ang, seph, amy, chelle, meems...i'm so lucky to have you girls!

thanks for everything!

good news

the doctor called this morning and said the mri didn't show anything wrong!

they're thinking the culprit is high blood pressure. he'll go back to the doctor in a couple of weeks to get a full diagnosis. for now, he's got some high blood pressure medicine to try.

thank you for all your thoughts and prayers!

now, if you could just pray for jacob. we go back to the doctor on monday for him to see if the latest antibiotic is working for his ears. if not, we're probably going the tube route. right now, he's got an awful cough...i mean awful. we just got home from daycare and he asked if he could just lay down in his bed. so sad! all i hear is coughing coming from his room.

we get one well and something else comes up.

but here's what i was reading this morning...

It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. But recall the former days in which, after you were illuminated, you endured a great struggle with sufferings: partly while you were made a spectacle both by reproaches and tribulations, and partly while you became companions of those who were so treated; for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of goods, knowing that you have a better and enduring possession for yourselves in heaven. Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.
Hebrews 10:31-36

no news

jerry had an mri and mra at 3:00 this afternoon.

they're supposed to call us back with results sometime tonight...hopefully.

he saw a doctor earlier and he seemed confident it would probably not show anything. he thinks jerry has high blood pressure and that could be what's causing the problem.

thanks so much for those that are praying.

we're believing high blood pressure will be the worst case scenario.

i'll keep you updated as we find out more.

please pray...

pray for my husband.

he was at the gym this morning beginning to lift weights and felt a sudden pressure in his head followed by a never-ending headache.

he just came home and went to sleep.

one of his bosses called a doctor they knew today and he told jerry to see a doctor right away. this is not something to play around with.

the doctor has ordered him to have 2 different kinds of mri's which are scheduled for next wednesday.

only one problem...he flies out to houston on friday. flying and head pressure don't mix. we're trying to get him in hopefully tomorrow for the mri's.

just please pray that they find nothing...in a good way. a way that is reassuring enough for us to not worry about him having some kind of serious head trauma!

and pray that i may have the strength to be who i need to be in this time.

dear Jesus,
place your healing hands on my husband...

addendum to "craziest week in history"

you just thought you heard it all!

my crazy week post was on wednesday. wednesday was only half of it!

• thursday morning, i woke up in so much pain i could hardly stand it. i went to school anyway because i thought i would be having my appraisal. no such luck, of course. i really thought i might have to go to the hospital and deliver 3 months early! it was that bad.
• friday morning, i woke up deathly sick! the pain was going away, but i was coughing my head off. the doctor told me to just take over-the-counter cold medicine. i did. it didn't work. we signed the papers on the house at 10:30 a.m. our house payment turned out to be a little less than expected. we decided to go over to the hospital and payoff that bill so we wouldn't have to worry about it. after all, they told us if we paid it before the delivery, we would get a discount. no such luck. that rule changed october 1. we got all our big stuff moved on friday...no help from me. (thanks, chris and dave!) friday, we spent our first night in our new house!
• saturday, still sick. my mom came in and she's a madwoman! i mean, non-stop all day long. did i mention i was still sick? we did get alot done though! thanks, mom!
• sunday, still sick. we didn't go to church. my mom is still here. she's still a madwoman! again, we got alot done. the real sunday drama?

are you ready for this?? jerry's uncle and granddad come over to see the house. jerry's granddad just had surgery a couple of weeks ago to repair an artery in his leg from coronary artery disease. he's got a walker and never really leaves the kitchen area.

jerry gets done showing his uncle around and they come back in the kitchen area. he looks down at his granddad and says, "you're bleeding!"

bleeding? that's an understatement! he's gushing! i don't think you could ever realize the magnitude of this situation. he's standing in our foyer and blood is pouring out of his leg! we get a chair for him to sit in. we grab towels and start trying to contain the blood. it's not stopping. jerry's uncle pulls his belt off, wraps it around his leg and holds it to hopefully cut off the flow. still not working. my mom is right in the middle of it (again, madwoman!).

we call 9-1-1! yes, first weekend in our house and we already have an ambulance coming. the whole neighborhood is outside wondering what's going on!

all of the sudden, my mom says, "he's not breathing!" okay, i'm beyond freaking out! i don't even know how i was still on my feet. i call 9-1-1 back and tell them he's not breathing. she says the ambulance is almost there.

by this time, we've filled at least 3 full-size towels with blood! he suddenly takes a gigantic breath and comes back. he's still not coherent. they're doing everything they can to keep him awake until the ambulance gets here.

finally, they arrive! they're so calm. it was crazy. they just put him on the gurney and wheeled him out to the hospital.

this entire time, jacob is just sitting in a corner playing with his drums, oblivious to anything going on.

we go to the hospital and find out that they were letting his wound heal from the inside out. something came loose, hence all the bleeding. they had to give him 2 pints of blood in the er, if that tells you how much was on our floor! he had surgery and all went well. he gets to keep his leg for now and hopefully will heal fine.

absolutely unbelievable!

so, if you're wondering where i've been...i've been recuperating...or at least trying to!

and one last thing...

i'm talking to ang on sunday night about what all went on...after the story, the first thing she says is, "can i come clean your floor for you?" are you kidding? you want to come clean blood off my floor? what a great friend! and the floor looks great, by the way!

thanks, ang! i'm so glad we're almost neighbors!

my poor, neglected, baby...

between moving, being pregnant, and being sick, i feel like my little boy has been so neglected lately. i literally think i saw him for a total of 2 hours yesterday before passing out on the couch from my finally prescribed cough medicine!

so, here's some pictures of him...my sweet, adorable, precious, baby boy. (who keeps reminding me that he's a "big boy".) =(

my very own pirate


who can resist that?


a rare family pic at rtp.


my "big boy" eating his very own slice of pizza...our first meal in our new house!

in case you haven't seen...

here's what we've got going so far.

here's a view of the kitchen from the corner of the living area.


this is part of jacob's room.


here's the very bare baby room.


and the master bathroom. (i have yet to use my tub!)

6 months

here's the 6-month picture...compared to 5-month. (the 6-month on the right, if you couldn't tell.)

the jeans i'm wearing today are actually jeans i wore BEFORE i got pregnant with jacob.

crazy business.

only 3 months to go!

moving day

today's the day.

i'm at home right now. i took the whole day off so i could sleep in a little this morning and hopefully feel better. of course, i woke up with a horrendous cold.

my pains are going away though. i'm going to call the doctor today just to make sure everything's okay.

we're closing on the house at 10:30 and will begin moving things after that.

feel free to drop by anytime to see the progress.

i'm so excited! it still doesn't seem real!

appraisal.

what appraisal?

did he come?

NO!

i could barely walk thursday for hurting so bad and was on my feet the entire day because i knew he would be coming then.

nothing.

i now have to just wait till he decides to pop in one day!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...................

craziest week in history

here's what i've got going this week...

• i'm supposed to have my observation...at some point. it's now wednesday, halloween, and i don't think he'll be coming today. i'm teaching sequencing tomorrow which is not the easiest thing in the world and i will only be at school 1st and 2nd period on friday. we're running out of time. i have a feeling he'll be coming to my 5th period to see if i have them "under control" yet. that leaves only today or tomorrow. yesterday, i had a walk-through 7th period from the vice principal. the comment on my form was "this would've been better if your students were paying attention during the instructions." i'm not one of those teachers who needs to have everything in perfect order and silence all of the time. i know i've been too lax up until now for their standards, but this was my ap class. they function well with a little interaction. anyway, that was not a good preview for my observation. so, i'm now stressed again.
• rock the pumpkin is tonight. i'm so happy that we have such an awesome outreach, but the work that goes into it is getting overwhelming. i thought everything was under control and i had everything scheduled and ready to go with volunteers only having to work one 1-hour shift. that was until yesterday. the youth was supposed to take three booths and cover working them. i found out yesterday they didn't have much of a response from the youth. so, at 8:30 last night, i was going back through my volunteers calling and explaining why i needed them for more than one shift. i only have 2 empty spots to fill and i know it will all come together, but on top of everything else, this is crazy. i also had to get the list ready to make sure we have everything needed for each booth and try to remember the general layout of the games from last year so they could be setting up today while i'm at work. it starts at 5:30, and i know i won't be leaving this place until at least 4:30.
• jacob is still sick. my mom came down to stay with him. she has to leave tonight to go back home and take care of my grandparents. i'm hoping he is well enough to go back to school tomorrow. last night, he had another fever and started in with unpleasant side effects from his medicine involving changing many diapers. i still haven't even tried on his costume. i don't even know if we should take him out tonight.
• they were cleaning our house last night...which means it's almost done. we have to go tonight, after rock the pumpkin, and do a walk through. they're supposed to be doing all touch-ups today. we have to go look and see if there's anything else that needs to be fixed. if not, they'll clean again tomorrow and we'll close 10:30 friday morning and move in after that. have i even begun packing?? no. we're supposed to find out sometime today how our appraisal came in and how much we will owe at closing, if any. we're hoping for the least amount so i can go on a shopping spree this weekend! otherwise, you'll be seeing my same old stuff in a brand new house.
• did i mention i'm pregnant?? this little boy sits right at the front of my belly at all times. i can barely put my socks on these days because it's so uncomfortable. my stomach is always so tight, it makes simple tasks very hard to do...like picking up paper off the floor. i've been running around like a madwoman all week and it's not going to let up anytime soon. we'll be busy all weekend and then i'll have to start another week. there's still 2 more weeks until thanksgiving break. i'm hoping i can make it.

so, if you happen to see me and i don't acknowledge you or i look really stressed, know that it's normal and nothing personal. you'll be lucky for me to even notice a bright light on my nose this week!

sickness update

jacob has yet another ear infection!

the doc said we would try this round of medication and come back in 10 days to see if it's cleared up.

if not, we'll be visiting the ear, nose, and throat doctor. which means possible tubes in his ears.

horrible. i do not want to go that route.

thank you for your prayers. please continue to pray that he get well before we go back in 10 days.

in the name of Jesus!

as promised

here's the latest as of yesterday afternoon.

beautiful landscaping...minus the grass


tiled kitchen


almost complete master bath


close-up of flowerbed #1


close-up of flowerbed #2


only 5 days to move-in time!

absent

we won't be at church today.

jacob is hacking his head off!

he can't go 30 seconds without coughing and his nose is running like crazy.

we're going to try to get him into the doctor tomorrow.

please pray for him. he's been sick for at least a month now. he just can't seem to shake it.

not so bad after all...

we have a flower bed...and two trees!

i so wasn't expecting that. we drove up today and it was all done.

we won't have grass, but we'll have foliage!

things are looking up.

i'll try to post pics later. there were alot of people working so we didn't get out.

utterly disappointed

our house is supposed to be finished next wednesday...yes, one week from today.

even though there is not a lick of paint on the walls, stain on the cabinets, tile or carpet on the floor, sprinkler system, or a fence.

but they promised!

we'll be moving in on friday.

the disappointing part?

we won't have grass in our yard until at least APRIL!!

i know it's fall and everyone's grass is going to be turning soon, but i still want grass. even if it's dead grass!

i guess i just never thought of the possibility of them not being able to plant grass until certain times.

so, even though we will be living there next weekend, when you come to visit (and you will all be coming to visit soon!) you will see one ugly, weed-infested, grassless yard!

take the good with the bad

as much as i hate the weight gain and the not-so-fun ailments of pregnancy, i love being pregnant.

almost all day, i have at least one hand on my belly. he is moving so much right now and i can't bear the thought of missing one little kick.

it's amazing to feel his movements...sometimes slow and smooth, other times like he's swimming in a race or something, and then there's those not so subtle kicks. they're not starting to hurt yet, but i know that's coming. i'm okay with it. i just love to know that he's growing, prospering, developing.

i can't wait to meet him, but then again, once he's here, this experience will be over. we're planning on not having anymore. we'll be happy with our two boys. i'll be happy being the only girl in the house!

for now, i just relish in the thought of this growing being inside me.

jacob's little brother.

our second son.

thank you, Jesus.

sweet sound

as i was sitting here, trying to think of all the crazy, weird things about me, this is what i hear coming from the other room...

"miska, mouska, mickey mouse! miska, mouska, mickey mouse!"

jacob is singing along with mickey mouse.

all i can do is smile.

tagged!

thanks, ree!

seven things you never knew about me and now wish you didn't. or as you put it...seven strange/weird/crazy things about me. (this is really out of my comfort zone. you people are going to think i'm nuts.)

• i have an obsession with typing. while you're talking, i'm imagining i'm typing your words in my head. sometimes i even move my fingers. i can't seem to shake it.
• whenever i want to clear my mind, i literally imagine (well, there's a paradox for you) a broom sweeping everything out of my head. it's the only way to get it all out!
• i like to dip my macaroni and cheese in barbecue sauce or a-1. whatever's on my plate.
• rather than using fingernail polish remover, i like to pick the polish off with my nails.
• i HATE feet! that's all i can say.
• i love to two-step. i know, weird. i'm a country girl at heart. it's been a long time since i've gotten to "scoot-a-boot"!
• i haven't shaved the back part of my thigh in...YEARS. i would always cut myself, so i just stopped. the hair sorta stopped growing after that. so, no! i'm not a wooly mammoth!

so now, you're going to be watching my fingers to see if i'm typing, wondering what's going through my head, paying attention when i eat mac and cheese, looking at my fingernails, putting your feet on me, asking me to dance, and trying to get a glimpse of my legs (which will never happen!!).

thanks, ree, for exposing me!

i tag ang and kj!

nothing

i really don't have anything to say.

i'm just tired of opening my blog and seeing "disaster"!

i know you are too.

oh, and...

kj, i could definitely use that shopping trip sometime...soon!

disaster

there is no other word for what happened yesterday.

if you read comments on kj's blog, you read that i was supposed to have my observation sometime this past week. thursday, he came in and said, i'll be here tomorrow. something came up today.

friday...observation...no big deal.

that's really what i was thinking. i haven't stressed over it, i wasn't worried, i was confident and just ready to get it over.

1st period, nothing. 2nd period, nothing. 4th period, nothing.

this only leaves 5th, because 7th is my pre-ap and they were going to be gone today.

5th period is by far the worst ever!!

but i was really okay with it. they try to participate...they just get a little out of hand.

so, here he comes, 5th period.

he sits at my desk and i'm joking with him because he's in my way and i need to take attendance.

the kids got a quiz as they walked in the door. they were all sitting QUIETLY working on it.

then came the flood of questions. we're covering fractions. have been for the past week. there are hands up all over the room and people saying, "i don't know how to do this!"

right away, i'm thinking, "great. this shows i'm a great teacher, huh?! these kids have been practicing fractions for a week and have no clue what's going on."

time's up and they turn in their quiz. i decided to do an activity where they use little remotes to relay their answers onto the screen. it was, of course, over fractions.

between every question, they talked excessively. EXCESSIVELY! i couldn't believe how they were acting.

i get more than halfway through class and look at him sitting at my desk.

he says, "do you want me to leave?"

me, not being able to say anything for the tears about to start flowing, shrug my shoulders.

he says, "say yes."

"yes!"

he talks to me for a couple of minutes about how the kids are acting and how i shouldn't put up with it.

i tell him that these kids are not phased by detentions or calls to mom or dad. they don't care if they go to the office.

he said it's because no one has been set as an example.

apparently some girl said something to me that he took as talking back. i don't even know what she said.

i'm so used to those kids in high school who would cuss me out, i'm just happy the kid is still sitting in her chair and not up yelling.

he leaves the room and we still have 20 minutes left in class. i'm trying so hard not to cry.

i calmly tell the students to put up their remotes, get out their paper and work silently!

that's all i could manage to get out.

as soon as the bell rang, i locked my door, sat at my desk, and bawled! i mean, no makeup left for my next class.

he comes back in 7th period to talk to me. again, i'm trying not to cry. my face is as red as a beet. for those who have seen me embarassed, you know what this looks like. there is no hiding it.

he asks if i'm okay and of course, i say yes. he said he understands where i came from and the little discipline support i had there. he's not like that. i shouldn't have to put up with behavior like that.

so, all in all, discipline was an issue.

i'm at a loss.

we haven't even gotten to the teaching part. i don't even want to go there.

that was, by far, the worst teaching experience in my 3-year career.

and i now have to do it all over again.

DISASTER.

hmm...

i was reading chris's blog earlier about getting a package.

i started thinking. i'm over 5 months pregnant. i have less than 4 months to go. (which seems forever away, yet right around the corner.)

i know for sure we're having a boy. (yet jacob tells everyone he's having a baby sister.)

i can't wait to hold him in my arms.

and yet...

i haven't bought a single thing for him! (other than the outfit i bought to tell jerry with.)

this is so unlike me. normally, i would've had his entire wardrobe by now.

i can't find any bedding that i like. i'm not in love with our crib anymore. we don't have a changing table. i found a rocker i somewhat like. i don't know what color to paint the walls. we don't have a name. i don't even look at baby clothes when we go to the store.

something is wrong here.

i'll tell you what it is...

i'm too stinkin' busy! i don't have time to think!

i need a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jacob's rendition of jesus loves me

my baby

i feel like such an awful mom these days. i've been so consumed with school and being sick, i've neglected taking pictures of my baby.

here are the few i have taken in the past 3 weeks! normally, i would have like 100 to choose from. nope, just the 3.

this was him last night. can you believe how big he is?


we took this a couple of days ago because he needed a family picture for daycare for a project they're doing.


this was a couple of weeks ago before he headed off to "school" in his new pants.
(which, by the way, he had to show off to everyone when he got there. so funny!)


i can't even believe how fast time is flying. it seems like yesterday, it was him in my belly kicking away. now he's 2!

house update

so, we're supposed to be closing on our house october 24. that's less than 3 weeks away!

for some reason, i just don't see that happening. it could be because we go out there every day, and the past week, the most they've gotten done in one day is to hang the kitchen cabinets. the other days, they've hung one or two pieces of molding up or something...literally.

they're supposed to be painting next week, but here's where we're at so far.

this is the kitchen...they will be stained pecan...i think.


this is a view from the corner of the kitchen. the columned room is the office. the big area inbetween is the living area. (that's the wrong front door.)


this is our bedroom...kinda hard to tell anything from it.


this will be the baby's room.


and here's our front door...currently sitting in our garage. it will be black, eventually.

pigs in a blanket

i'm in hog heaven right now...hehehe...get it, hog heaven, pigs in a blanket.

okay, maybe i'm delirious or something.

anyway, jerry had to go to work this morning, so i decided to fix pigs in a blanket for breakfast.

of course, you can't fix a half a can of biscuits, so naturally, i had to cook the entire can.

and they can't go to waste. that would be an atrocity.

and since there's no one here to help eat them...well...you get the point.

(hence, the large belly in the previous post.)

***update***
i didn't eat ALL of them, for the record.

the moment you've all been waiting for...

and the moment i've been dreading...

the 5-month picture! as always with a comparison of the month before.

there you have it, ladies.

and yes, those are the same jeans...just for you.

(for the last time, i might add.)

i would say that our newly pregnant friend, chris, should post the same type of pictures...but that would just be an embarassment to myself.

alright, go ahead, chris. but no comparing to me. this is my second, you know!

***on a side note. when i published this post, i was planning on the pics being side by side. when i went to view it on my blog, they ended up like this. it makes the comparison so much worse. you can actually see how much farther my belly is sticking out than last month! why do i do this to myself??

sick

that's the only word i have to describe myself right now.

this morning i woke up with a really bad sore throat. as the day has progressed, my eyes are watery, my nose runny yet stopped up, my throat clogged, my head pounding.

i could be on the verge of...well...not death, but something bad!

i have no sick days to use! i can't call in to work!

i know when i wake up in the morning, i'll be coughing up stuff even your little boys would be scared of!

i tried to take a nap, but i woke up feeling worse than before.

jacob is sleeping soundly right now.

i should be working, but i have no desire.

i should take my 5-month picture, but i have no energy to go get my camera AND change clothes.

i should post pictures of our house with all the sheet rock done, cabinets delivered, doors on, right windows in, ready to paint, but i don't have the patience to wait for the pictures to load.

i would love to see if the president's cup is over, but i don't have the will to turn on the tv.

wow! talk about woe is me!

happier things next time. stay tuned.

things they say

i know most of you have heard this story, but i wanted to write it down and read it myself. i need a good laugh...or cry at this point.

the past few days have been a struggle for me. anyway, not the point.

the other day, i woke jacob up for "school". he's been sick.

jacob: "mommy, i can't see."

me: "what's wrong baby?"

jacob: "my eyes are broken!"

i could hardly contain the tears for the laughter. his eyes were stuck together from all the sleepy stuff in them.

it took a good 5 minutes of rubbing with a warm cloth to get them open.

happy birthday, kylah!

happy birthday to my friend!

i only wish we would be seeing each other today.

i guess i'll have to be okay with getting to spend this past weekend with you!

it was so much fun to hang out and...well, just hang out!

i love you, and i hope you have a wonderful day!

happy birthday!

cookies

today, one of my students told me she was going to make cookies today.

naturally, i asked her if she would be bringing me any?
(i wouldn't really eat them. you never know what's in them.)

she said of course she would.

i only wish i could eat them.

it would be perfect if they were like chocolate chip with nuts or something.

mmm....

now, if she does bring them, i'll have act so excited and then secretly discard them!

i want cookies!!

still a boy

we had our official sonogram yesterday. we're still having a boy.

my parents came down. my dad got to see his first sonogram ever! jacob got to see his little brother. he was so excited.

i had a stupid contraction during the thing! i'm sitting there and the technician says, "you're having a contraction. do you feel it?"

uh, yea. i feel it. it feels like my insides are turning inside out.

she said it was a braxton hicks contraction. that's the first one of those i've ever had. i hope they don't continue.

jenny, i don't know how you handle it these days.

******

on a side note...i'm having major anxiety about this retreat this weekend. i'm going to have to leave my baby for 2 nights which means i won't see him for an entire day! this has never happened before. not to mention, i won't be seeing my husband either.

i'm just hoping it's an action-packed weekend and i can keep my focus where it should be!

******

another note...i'm sick! sick! sick! sneezing, sniffling, runny nose. my whole house and family is infected. no one should come around us for a while.

promotion

meet my husband...

Jerry R. -- SUPERVISOR

that's right. he got a promotion...i should say another promotion. he was just promoted last year to senior accountant and now supervisor!

i am so proud of you, hun!
i love you so much!

my enemy

so yesterday i had a doctor's appointment. it was my 4-month appointment. no big deal, right?

right.

that is until i walk in the office and 30 seconds later i'm standing on a scale facing the reality that unless i eat salads for the next 4 1/2 months, i don't think my goal of gaining only 20-25 pounds is going to happen.

i hate scales. hate. hate. hate.

did i mention i hate scales?

in my defense, i did have to switch from morning appointments to afternoon appointments, but still...come on!

i almost cried when i saw the scale.

i asked the nurse, "how could this be? i'm still wearing my REGULAR jeans! i don't feel like i've gained 7 (yes i said 7) pounds in one month!"

that brings my total to 10. 10! that means, i've gained half the weight i wanted to and i'm only halfway. logically, you think that would be right. not to this pregnant woman.

i know there will be bigger numbers put up than 7 in the next few months!

why can't i be one of those women who gain like 15 pounds or less their entire pregnancy?? (like two of my friends i know. you know who you are!)

grrrrrrrrrr...............

where does the time go?

today, we discovered our little boy can now sing twinkle, twinkle, little star and old macdonald had a farm.

he's growing up in "school", as he calls it, and i don't even get to see it!

i can't wait until next summer so i can spend every day with him!

so it happened...

yesterday, i'm standing outside the dressing room in ross while jerry is trying on pants and the dressing room attendant says to me...

"when is your baby due?"
(sad in of itself that she could ask that because it's so obvious.)

me: "february 6"
(i never leave out the 6 part.)

her: "so how far are you?"

me: "4 months."

her: (she thinks for a second.) "so you have FIVE months left?"

me: "yes."

her: "it's because you're slim that you're showing so much so early, huh?"

me: "yea, that's it."

what the heck?? do people have no scruples? or are they just stupid?

for my friend

if you haven't been following the p.s. saga, go here and catch up, then come back.

my dear friend,

i miss you so much. i haven't seen you in like 2 weeks...at least. this is crazy. it was not supposed to be this way. we were supposed to live next to each other and see each other everyday. we were getting so close with our house being done and then your HUSBAND had to move you away from everyone! ;)

i know someday you will return and it will be a glorious reunion! maybe after you get pregnant for real. ;) my little boys are going to need wives, you know.

i hope to see you very soon!

i love you!

crys~

just cute pics