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Monday, November 26, 2007

tragedy

my laptop is dying...yes, dying. something is wrong with the screen.

by some miracle, i just happened to be able to post at school this morning...even though there are 50 other things i should be doing, i felt it important to give you advance warning of my probable absence from blogging.

since i'm here...

we had a wonderful thanksgiving. we had lunch with one of jerry's co-workers on thursday and then headed to my parents. it snowed on us the entire way home. by the time we arrived at their house, the ground was covered. my mom already had her christmas lights up and on just so jacob could see them more than just at christmas.

he was amazed when we drove in the driveway. my mom does nothing so-so. they have a huge front yard and the majority was covered in something christmas.

jacob got to spend time with his grandma and papa...he's been wanting to so badly. we got to spend time with family and just relax.

of course, it's back to work full force this morning...only 4 weeks to christmas break.

on a random note, pregnancy heartburn has come on full force, making it so hard to sleep. my shirts are too small. unfortunately, i can't find any that i like well enough to spend money on. you people are just going to have to suffer through a bulging belly.

i just noticed the calendar on my classroom wall still says october!

hopefully, we will have a healthy family again. our colds are subsiding. jerry goes to the doctor tomorrow for a full work-up on his blood pressure. jacob seemed okay this morning, so we're not taking him back to the doctor. i go back on thursday for my check-up. did i tell you she's already got me going every 2 weeks??

i think i'm almost 30 weeks. only 10 more to go!

i'm having a very hard time lately thinking of having 2 children. i worry so much about jacob and how he will handle it. i worry about me and the guilt i will feel from holding a newborn and having my 2 year old long to be in my lap. i'm having such anxiety that i can hardly look at the nursery right now. i just want to close the door and not think about it. i'm savoring every moment i have with jacob. i know full well that everything will be fine and my love will be multiplied. God will provide me with sufficient time and attention for both.

this is not where i wanted to go with this post. i must stop now, because school hasn't even started and the tears are flowing down my face.

from reading this, i have no idea where i was planning on going.

hopefully our computer will be fixed soon or my school laptop will continue to let me post. if not, i'll miss you guys!

7 comments:

Wendy said...

I kept tums with me at every moment when I was pregnant. Kept it on the night stand.
I have lots of maternity clothes that you are welcome to borrow. They are just sitting up in the attic. I bought WAY too many. Let me know, if you're interested.
I cried the night before Ca was born b/c I know that Z's life would never be the same. And you know? It's true. His life WILL never be the same - He has a life-long companion, now. He's learning to be more independant. All those worries I had about him adjusting to the new baby were not a problem at all. Don't get me wrong, having 2 is definitely harder, but J's going to be just fine. He'll probably adjust faster than you will.

kj said...

both of your children are so lucky to have you as a mother. i know you will be wonderful with two. i love you.

Meems said...

I agree with Wendy. It's harder, but also better in many ways. The first one has someone to play with. F has loved helping change diapers and take care of Bubba. She trys to wake him when he goes to sleep because she misses him. Your gonna make a great Momma of two.

seph said...

i have lots of maternity clothes, girl. lots and lots. i know where they are -- very easy access. you're welcome to all of them.

kdp said...

you will not put jacob down out of your lap, you will just make room for two babies in your lap. and jacob will feel so proud. he will be the big brother. i think you will be surprised at how protective jacob will be over his new brother.

hannah was. she treated bekah like she was her own little baby doll.

no_iffer said...

Tums and ice cream helped me with heart burn.

You will be amazed at how easy J. adjusts to having a little brother. He will be proud and thrilled. And KDP is right. You will just make more room in your lap, and you won't have to even think about having more room in your heart. It just comes. It's an amazing thing to see your own child love another so much. It will change his life and there probably will be moments of struggle and frustration, but those will pale in comparison to the many times Jacob will kiss his toes or say sweet things in his ear or show him off.

CG said...

Tums my candy of choice! Big container.. at least 5 a day. Is that bad? J was so excited..he walked in after I had L and said where is my baby? He watched every thing the nurses were doing to her and was very protective. He still is and does not like to hear her cry. I have clothes. Email me or call me. Although my clothes might be too big for you.