anyone in need of...

either of these things?

this is a set of 5 separate shelves. you can arrange them however you like. the biggest one is about 2 feet by 1 1/2 feet. we rearranged jacob's room, and they just don't fit anymore.

we also got new bedding for him. this has been on his bed for a few months. which means it's been used all of 5 times because he never sleeps in his bed! (okay, maybe exaggerating a little.)

it's a reversible twin comforter with twin sheets and a pillow case to match.

so, if you have any boys who like cars, this is it!

i'll make you a good deal. :)

just cute

decisions

jenny is taking our family pics next weekend, and i'm trying to figure out our wardrobe. i want it to be something fun and cute...not matchy-matchy. here are some options i'm thinking of.

for jacob:

for jerry:

or

or

for me:

with thisand thisand these (or something like them) or thiswith thisand yes, there's someone missing. my poor casen. it will probably be something similar to jacob. the only problem is, i feel like the possibility for jacob doesn't really go with ours.

i don't know. my fashion sense is very...simple. i'm trying to go outside the box.

suggestions?

sweet boys

casen got his hair cut

obviously from the first picture, you can tell he was not thrilled.

not sure what caught his attention, but it worked!

hair in the nose.

there's his crazy grandma entertaining him.

and the after picture. the main difference is the length in the back. i still have mixed feelings about the whole thing.

PARTY!

okay, so maybe it doesn't require that much excitement. nevertheless, i am super excited!

the uppercase living/thirty-one party is tomorrow at my house. i can't wait to get more things to go on my walls!

remember:

where: my house

when: friday, march 6, 6:30 to whenever

who: if you're reading, you're invited!

what: wall words and bags

food: marble cheesecake, banana pudding, mini brownie cookies, and strawberry shortcake

can't wait! hope to see you there!

(ashley b, i never got your address. come!)

enjoying the sunshine

just sad

my boys went home with my parents on sunday.

this is what i had to send with them.


















this much for two small children. and this isn't even all of it. something is wrong with this picture.

conviction

wow! i just typed half a post and deleted the whole thing...on purpose. i started writing and was then lead in a whole new direction and started babbling.

here's the real post.

with all this sickness lately, i've been so convicted.

i feel like anytime we go to the doctor or have an antibiotic, i'm being knocked down with the thought, "don't you think our God is big enough to take care of this?".

of course i do!

but man, it's hard when it's my babies.

i want to use every possible resource i can to get them better.

is that wrong??

we're going to an ear, nose, and throat doctor today for casen to discuss possible tubes.

i'm somewhat relieved because i want him to finally have some relief.

we're on our third round of antibiotics since the beginning of january, and nothing has worked yet.

of course i've prayed for him.

but am i not doing it with a whole heart?

is that why he's still suffering?

is it wrong for me to seek relief in doctors?

of course it's not. people do it all the time.

then why am i having such a hard time with it??

guilty

as most of you know, my boys are sick.

jacob officially has asthma. we're on another steroid and will soon begin breathing treatments specifically for asthma.

casen has yet another ear infection. he is also currently wheezing like nobody's business, along with coughing.

so why guilty?

some diagnoses are pretty clear to see, and we accept them, take medicine, get better, and move on. for instance, the ear infection. clearly the doctor sees something in my little boy's ears to indicate an infection.

asthma...not so clear. is it a fluke thing, or will this continue indefinitely? how is this conclusion reached? is it determined by a child being sick constantly with the same thing which automatically points to asthma?

not sure.

what i am sure of is i was just happy to finally know what is making my baby suffer so much, that i accepted the asthma diagnosis and the possibility that we could be dealing with this for years.

my point, you ask?

the other day, in my daily reading, i was reading about isaac and rebekah.

most know the story. isaac married rebekah. she was barren. but they prayed and God delivered. they were blessed with jacob and esau.

the thing about the story that i never really payed attention to, and the connection to this blog, is that isaac married rebekah when he was 40 years old. jacob and esau were not born until he was 60 years old.

it says that isaac prayed hard to God for his wife because she was barren. God answered his prayer and rebekah became pregnant.

this means that isaac prayed for 20 years! he did not accept that rebekah was barren. he knew our God was bigger than that. he prayed...and prayed...and prayed. God answered.

of course, i pray for my babies when they're sick. but i'm guilty of getting a diagnosis and accepting it...thinking that the medicine will heal them.

i know our God is bigger. He is the healer.

i will not accept this diagnosis for my son. i will continue to pray believing that God will answer...in His time.

update

it's official...jacob has been diagnosed with asthma.

and...casen has another horrible ear infection. tubes could be in our future.

super bowl xliii

two super bowl squares - $10
one super bowl food spread - $30
one trip to the emergency room during the super bowl - $100

being able to take my baby home after being stuck three times with a needle, given a breathing treament, and having a chest x-ray - priceless

yep. that's where we were for most of the super bowl.

jacob was coughing horribly all day yesterday. sometime around six o'clock, he started having trouble breathing and just looked awful. so we took him in.

this is the second time we've been to the er with him since he was born. this time was almost equally as bad as the last.

they gave him a breathing treatment...we had already given him four earlier in the day with no relief.

they then decided he needed an iv to get a steroid through. the nurse came in and stuck him twice with no luck. the whole time she was telling him to try not to move.

you're sticking a three-year old with a needle and torturing him and all the while telling him to stay still?? are you kidding me?! i could have strangled her!

someone else came in and immediately got a vein.

frustrating!

then they took a chest x-ray. it pretty much showed the same thing as the one we had done a month ago, except instead of having gunk in his upper right lung, it's now in the lower left.

wonderful.

diagnosis: bronchiolitis.
treatment: another steroid and more breathing treatments.
follow-up: see dr. wehner today.

to top it all off, casen has just started coughing and has green snot!

seriously, will it ever end?!?!

one year

my sweet baby boy,
it seems like yesterday, yet so long ago, that i held you in my arms for the first time. i was so worried about sharing my love with another. but one look from those big eyes and you stole my heart. i look forward to seeing your toothy smile every day when i pick you up. every day it's like you're seeing me for the first time. i just can't help but smile. i hope i can have that effect for many years to come.

i love you more than any words could ever express!

happy 1st birthday, sweet boy!

love, momma

i don't want to.

I.JUST.DON'T.WANT.TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

update.

we went back to the doctor this morning. they took an oxygen reading on jacob. it was around 94. still not great, but so much better.

doc said we need to stick with the breathing treatments, but not as frequent. down to 3 a day for now until the cough completely goes away.

he's cleared for daycare, although i'm a little scared and he'll be staying home through thursday.

but thanks for all the prayers. and thank you, God, for being so faithful in answering!

now for casen. he woke up this morning wheezing pretty bad. he was staying home with me anyway, so i took him with us to the doctor. she agreed to see him also.

his oxygen level was about 96. pretty good. he has an ear infection that's really bothering him. doc said the wheezing kinda goes with it. she said he probably has rsv, but didn't think was a huge deal right now.

we just have to watch for a fever with him and the cough getting worse. other than that, we should be in the clear.

of course, we do have to start breathing treatments on him also.

uh...i just tried.

short of tying him down, i'm not sure how that's going to work. =)

again, thanks for all the prayers. i'll be home with my boys today and tomorrow loving and taking care of them.

and this is where we have been...

for the past five days, this has been us every three hours.



















we took jacob to the doctor on wednesday because he was coughing uncontrollably and had been for a couple of days.

the nurse came in and listened to him and could tell he had tons of stuff in his chest. she hooked him up to the oxygen saturation monitor to get a reading. it was in the low 90's. they'd like for it to be high 90's.

she called the doctor in. after taking one listen, the doctor said he definitely had bronchiolitis and possibly asthma...again with the asthma...and maybe even pneumonia.

she wanted him to have a breathing treatment right then to see if they could get his oxygen level up.

on the contrary, it went down!

so they give him another one. still not where it should be.

we get a prescription for a steroid, one to treat bronchiolitis, and then one for a nebulizer and albuterol. for the next two days, we gave breathing treatments every three hours, and the medicine just like we should. we were told if he got any worse, to take him to the er.

friday morning, we go back in for a check-up. jacob was acting so much better...much like himself. we were definitely expecting the ok on everything.

not so. his oxygen level was now in the 80's. they brought in a new machine. no different.

to top it off, casen woke up friday morning coughing. we had him checked also.

the doctors have no idea what's going on because jacob is acting so well. they order a chest x-ray and we have to go over to the pedi part of the hospital for another oxygen reading.

in the meantime, she prescribed casen an antibiotic for an ear infection, and also gave us one just in case he starts wheezing and develops rsv.

are you kidding me?!

in case you haven't read this, we're kinda in the same boat.

we go for the chest x-ray. my little boy was so brave! while i, on the other hand, just wanted to cry. we also got another oxygen reading and it was around 90 - 91. still not good.

the doctor calls me on the my way home to tell me the results of the chest x-ray.

the radiologist said there's mucus plugging his lungs which is causing the difficulty to breathe. unfortunately, there's so much mucus, he can't even tell if there's pneumonia in there or not.

what?!

i'm now completely freaked out...watching jacob's every move, because the doctor said that where his oxygen level is, he could either be getting better or turn for the worse in no time. she said if we see any kind of distress, to get him to the er immediately to have him admitted.

meanwhile, casen woke up this morning wheezing. i've started him on the steroid also.

we're still at home. jacob's been really good. he's acting like himself, he's eating, he's playing. you'd never know he was sick.

but he is. and i'm still scared to death.

we go back in at 9 in the morning. that means i'll be taking another day off from school. my brother is going to stay with him tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, because i don't want him exposed to anyone right now.

so that's where we are and where we will be for at least another day.

almost one year

here is my 11-month old baby boy. we had a mini photo shoot this morning in the backyard. i absolutely cannot believe he'll be one-year old in just a month!look at that sweet smile. does that not just melt your heart?!

at 11 months, casen:

• says dada, jacob, thank you, uh oh, hello, papa, and momma. and he said them in that order. how sad is that?!
• cruises along the furniture.
• stands for a second or two on his own.
• gets into everything!
• is a huge momma's boy.
• loves jacob...well, mainly his toys. =)
• still eats a ton.
• has the sweetest smile.
• has 4 teeth and at least 3 others coming in as we speak.
• finally has a pair of shoes...that he can actually wear.
• loves to play peek-a-boo.

things are so different with the second child. with jacob, i wanted him to advance so quickly. with casen, i'm just relishing in every stage. it goes so fast. soon my boys will be grown and wanting to move out.

i'm putting my foot down now...NOT gonna happen!

new bedroom decor

we finally got some decorations for our bedroom. it's only been a year! i don't see what the big deal is!
these are hanging over our bed. and i'm absolutely in love with these sticky wall words. these are actually from a company called uppercase living. i have an entire catalog if anyone is interested. they're amazing!

and shelves from hobby lobby, of course. along with the three things over the bed.

a day at the park

a couple of days ago, when it was somewhat warm, we decided to get out the boys' rides and go for a drive over to the school park.

obviously, some of us had more fun than others! =)

his newest skill...waving bye bye.

it's good to be loved.

my whole 5th period just sang me happy birthday!

you can bet i had the biggest smile on my face!