conviction

wow! i just typed half a post and deleted the whole thing...on purpose. i started writing and was then lead in a whole new direction and started babbling.

here's the real post.

with all this sickness lately, i've been so convicted.

i feel like anytime we go to the doctor or have an antibiotic, i'm being knocked down with the thought, "don't you think our God is big enough to take care of this?".

of course i do!

but man, it's hard when it's my babies.

i want to use every possible resource i can to get them better.

is that wrong??

we're going to an ear, nose, and throat doctor today for casen to discuss possible tubes.

i'm somewhat relieved because i want him to finally have some relief.

we're on our third round of antibiotics since the beginning of january, and nothing has worked yet.

of course i've prayed for him.

but am i not doing it with a whole heart?

is that why he's still suffering?

is it wrong for me to seek relief in doctors?

of course it's not. people do it all the time.

then why am i having such a hard time with it??