guilty

as most of you know, my boys are sick.

jacob officially has asthma. we're on another steroid and will soon begin breathing treatments specifically for asthma.

casen has yet another ear infection. he is also currently wheezing like nobody's business, along with coughing.

so why guilty?

some diagnoses are pretty clear to see, and we accept them, take medicine, get better, and move on. for instance, the ear infection. clearly the doctor sees something in my little boy's ears to indicate an infection.

asthma...not so clear. is it a fluke thing, or will this continue indefinitely? how is this conclusion reached? is it determined by a child being sick constantly with the same thing which automatically points to asthma?

not sure.

what i am sure of is i was just happy to finally know what is making my baby suffer so much, that i accepted the asthma diagnosis and the possibility that we could be dealing with this for years.

my point, you ask?

the other day, in my daily reading, i was reading about isaac and rebekah.

most know the story. isaac married rebekah. she was barren. but they prayed and God delivered. they were blessed with jacob and esau.

the thing about the story that i never really payed attention to, and the connection to this blog, is that isaac married rebekah when he was 40 years old. jacob and esau were not born until he was 60 years old.

it says that isaac prayed hard to God for his wife because she was barren. God answered his prayer and rebekah became pregnant.

this means that isaac prayed for 20 years! he did not accept that rebekah was barren. he knew our God was bigger than that. he prayed...and prayed...and prayed. God answered.

of course, i pray for my babies when they're sick. but i'm guilty of getting a diagnosis and accepting it...thinking that the medicine will heal them.

i know our God is bigger. He is the healer.

i will not accept this diagnosis for my son. i will continue to pray believing that God will answer...in His time.