what joys i have

a simple day at the park...

thank you, jesus.

my very own superman

i don't even have words for these...

i know, i know...

most of you are thinking...3 posts in one day? what's going on?

jerry's at work, jacob's asleep and i have a little energy. (i should probably be doing laundry right now.)

i just have to share one more thing.

when we ask jacob what is in momma's belly, he replies "a baby". (in the cutest voice ever.)

when we ask him where the baby is, he replies "in the water." (i have no idea.)

yesterday, i asked him if he wanted to touch the baby.

he was so excited. he just put his little hand on my belly with a big smile on his face.

so, now every time we ask what's in momma's belly, he replies "a baby. touch it. touch it."

so sweet.

waiting

for those with multiple kids, wasn't your first pregnancy wonderful?

not knowing what to expect. any little feeling being so exciting. reading books and books on end just to see what would come next.

jerry and i were talking the other day about me being pregnant again. we remembered how exciting it was as every week went by to know that something new was happening inside me.

now, with the second, i know what to expect. (not sickness wise...if you've read the previous post.)

i'm so ready to get into the second trimester when i can actually not try to suck in my stomach for fear of showing too soon. or get to the point where we can find out the sex. or start picking out names.

the thing i'm looking forward to the most is the first time i feel this little one move inside.

i loved that the most. it is such a special feeling to know that you have this little being growing inside. to know that it was created in you. to know that God appointed this one especially for you.

i remember the first time i felt jacob move, i was at school. at first, i just thought it was my lunch coming back to haunt me. but i didn't feel bad at all. then i realized it was my baby boy.

of course, toward the end, i thought he would kick himself right out of me. still a joy all the same.

i guess i have to just be patient and wait for those precious moments to come.

so different

aside from the weight gain i experienced while pregnant with jacob, it was a relatively easy pregnancy, delivery...the whole package. jacob has been a very easy baby.

granted, i'm only almost 8 weeks into this pregnancy, but things are so different.

it has been an emotional roller coaster so far. i expected that.

the thing i can't get used to is the physical differences. i was never sick while pregnant with jacob.

now, every night when i go to bed, i am nauseated. i can hardly sleep. if i do sleep and i get woken up in the middle of the night, i can't go back to sleep. i wake up in the mornings feeling deathly ill for about 30 minutes and then it's bearable. i barely make it through lunch and feel sick again.

then...relief. from about 2:00 to 10:00 at night, i'm okay. 8 hours of the day!! that's ridiculous!

i just hope this is not a preview as to how the rest of the pregnancy, delivery and newborn are going to be.

i'm going to need lots of help!

random pictures

i've been a little behind on ordering and posting pictures, so here's a few...randomly.

here's jacob and i in our first pool outing in the backyard. (we haven't been in it again since.)



here's daddy's little helper. he always has to be in the middle of the action. (that's jerry doing the dishes...i love him!)


here's my bed while jerry was gone. that tiny space in the right side of the picture was mine.


here's jacob's new "big boy" bed. he absolutely loves it!


here he is so proud of his block stacking skills. (i'm pretty proud also. there are over 10 blocks there.)


here's my handsome boy with his new haircut. he's definitely not a baby anymore.


and even though you can't really see his haircut here, this is my favorite picture. i caught him in the act of digging through his daddy's drawer. look at that sly smile.

thrilled

my little sister is getting married. it's one of those things where he hasn't proposed yet, but everything is planned. (i would never know anything of the sort!)

her "fiance" is in wyoming right now working. i've been talking to him on the phone about him getting her a ring and when he's going to propose. i went to look for rings for him and i found the perfect one. he's supposed to be coming home in a couple of weeks to pop the question. he's already asked my dad for permission!

i am so happy for her. she deserves happiness and i believe she is finally going to get it.

the point? her wedding date is set for january 5, 2008. she's asked me to be her matron of honor. of course, i am thrilled.

downside? i'm due to have a baby february 6, 2008, which means i will be 8 months pregnant!!

for those of you who knew me while i was pregnant with jacob, you saw how big i got!! if you don't remember, let me refresh your memory. (that's my sister beside me.)

now, imagine that body in this dress...

i'm thrilled. =(

conversation with a 23 month old

as i'm reading my list of blogs, jacob comes into the office and we have this conversation:

jacob: "look, look, momma." (pointing to his mouth)

me: "what is it, baby?" (as he's acting like he's chewing on something)

me: "what's in your mouth?" (trying to open his mouth)

jacob: "monster!"

consumed

as i was reading through my list of blogs the yesterday (which has multiplied immensely!), i saw all the posts of mothers talking about their husbands on father's day and how much they appreciated them and loved them...

then i looked at my own. i realized i had done nothing...not only on my blog, but at home. of course, i got him a card and jacob made his own (so cute), but we didn't really make it his day.

looking back, i feel like such a horrible wife. how could i leave my husband out on what should be one of the most celebrated days of the year for him??

i've been so consumed with thoughts and worries of the baby and hoping everything was okay that i didn't even acknowledge the fact that next year, he will be celebrated even more. we will have two children!

so, hopefully i can make up for it. (by the way, he's out of town for three days which makes it even worse.)

my dearest husband,

i love you more than any words could ever say. as stated in my blog page description, you are the source of the smile on my face. without you, there's only sadness.

of course, i have jacob here, but looking at him only reminds me of you. that cute little smirk on his face or his little hands just put images of you in my mind.

you are such a wonderful daddy to him and you deserve to be celebrated. how many other dads take the whacking of a golf club from their son just to see him laugh? or mimic the hoppings of a frog just to have him do the same so WE can get a laugh? or melt at the words "i love you, daddy" not just the first time it's said, but every time?

not only should you be celebrated for being a wonderful daddy, but also a wonderful husband. how many other husbands clean the bathrooms just because i don't want to? or do the dishes every night just because i made dinner? or hop up at the hint that i need something to get whatever it may be? or who is constantly commented on from all my friends that you are so HOT?

only you, my love.

i love you so much. i can't wait for you to come home tomorrow!

until then, i'll settle for being reminded of you by our son.

i love you.

your wife

here we go

here's a picture of the first sonogram. forgive the horrible quality. this is one of those on the little paper and i had to take a picture of the picture with my camera.

you get the idea.

the little circle above what you probably think is the baby is not actually the baby. the tiny little bean looking shape below it is the actual baby. i'm in love already!

i can't believe i'm actually putting this on here...my husband has barely seen my belly since i had jacob, but here it is. the start of my pregnancy. 6 weeks and 3 days along. (none of that belly is pregnancy belly...not this one anyway. it's left over from jacob.) in a few months, i will long for this!

hold the comments on the latter picture!

magic date

the date is...

february 6, 2008.

a new ramirez will be here. (hopefully no later than that.)

i'll be 7 weeks on wednesday. not quite as far as i thought.

sorry for the freak out on the earlier post, for those of you who read it.

to those who did, thanks for praying.

the past couple of days, i had a little spotting and cramping and i have been freaking out. i was so scared! partly because i thought i was farther along than i am. i've been praying like crazy and God just kept telling me, "Crystal, you were so sure before, why are you doubting Me now?"

everything is okay. we did a sonogram and saw the heartbeat.

so, never fear, positive posts are coming soon.

join in the joy with me!

i'm having another baby!!

pray...

just pray...

little ceasar's pizza

okay, i know little ceasar's is not the best...but when you're short on cash and they have $5 large pizzas, it sounds pretty good...(and i'm pregnant, so weird things pop in my head.)

anyway, jerry and i have been working the past 3 days on sanding down jacob's dresser and armoire to restain to match his new bed. after applying the first coat of stain and seeing the bad quality of the wood, we nixed that idea and have decided to paint it.

so not the point. the point is, we've been working really hard and i just knew i was going to sleep so well last night.

i did...until about 5 a.m. jacob came in our room to get in bed with us. jerry said he wasn't feeling well. all of the sudden i had the worst stomach pain ever.

i was so scared.

i got up and went in the restroom and immediately broke into a dripping sweat...literally.

i leaned against the sink and i think i passed out. i woke up on the floor not knowing what happened.

i don't know if it was the pizza or what, but needless to say, little ceasar's won't be seeing us anytime soon.

i'm up this morning not feeling great, but bearable.

let's hope it passes.

what are we thinking?

jacob's birthday is coming up next month. he'll be 2! can you believe it?! my little baby boy is not such a baby anymore.

okay, that's a whole other post. here's the purpose of this one.

jerry and i have been trying to decide what we'll get jacob for his birthday. what cool toys does he need to add to his collection of the barely played with mob in his room?

then it occurred to me...why not just get him a box of rocks?

jerry's been on vacation for a few days now and last week we decided to go see my family. the entire 3-day trip, jacob was perfectly content playing outside with whatever nature provided.

here he is with his cousin, lexi. she's almost 4 years old and lives about a mile from my parents.
this was one of the highlights of their day...filling a cup with rocks, throwing them on the concrete, and picking them up again. amazing!




my parents have a ginormous cornfield next to their house. it produces the most delicious corn on the cob ever. it only lasts for about a month and then it's too big to eat. july is the magic month. i can just taste it. okay, the pregnant woman is getting off subject.

jacob and lexi took off into the cornfield after a ball. they stayed there for about 30 minutes just examining the corn stalks.


here's my favorite. jacob decided to pick a fight with the corn stalk. seriously. i should've filmed it. he was going nuts on that thing...swinging his arms like it had taken his ball or something. it was hilarious!


so, what are we thinking buying all these toys and things that end up on shelves or garage sales when nature has provided everything we need? of course, we don't live out in the country and don't have a cornfield as our backyard.

oh well.

toys it is.

influx of emotions

okay, so i'm a woman in the early stages of pregnancy (not sure how early)...i'm emotional...that's a given.

but it's just getting ridiculous.

one day i am so excited that i have another baby growing inside of me and i can't wait to see him or her.

the next day, i'm scared out of my mind at having another baby.

i'm scared of how jacob will react. will he feel neglected? will he still feel loved? will he be jealous? will he understand?

and my husband...we already barely have time together. what will it be like when we have two kids running around? will he feel neglected? will he still feel loved? will he be jealous? will he understand?

but then, there's me. how will i react? this scares me the most. from best i can guess at this point, i'm thinking probably late january or february as a due date. for most, probably not a big deal.

for me...right smack in the middle of tax season!

i remember when i had jacob, i was so overwhelmed after bringing him home. i truly thought i might go into depression. not because i didn't want him, but because it was the most life changing experience one could ever have. i look back now and think, "how could i ever have felt that way?"

he is my precious baby boy.

but now, i'm going to have another. will i be a good mom? will i be able to stretch myself enough to love my husband, my first born, and another? yes, i know God will provide. but at this moment, i'm terrified.

how will i be able to wake up all hours of the night with a newborn and still have the energy to read a book with my son? how can i make him feel that he is my first born and will always hold my heart?

oh, on top of all this, my friends are moving away, my in-laws are probably getting a divorce, my mom lives two hours away and jerry will be working 60-70 hours a week!

not only that, but i don't even have disability insurance. do you know what that means??

i'll be teaching up until the day i deliver and have to go back to work 4 or 5 weeks later at the latest, because we don't have enough money for me to take more time off!

you know, all these thoughts have been in the back of my mind. i just keep pushing it all back and try not to let it come out. at this point, the only evidence i've had of having a baby is the positive test and unusually fast growing belly!

but not now. the gloves are off. the emotions have come out. there's no turning back.

i'm having another baby.

(expect a posting at a later time of the joys i'm experiencing.)

big news

the past few weeks, i've been feeling a little "different".
(i was starting to write all the details of "different" and then realized some people might not want to read them.)

anyway.

after much deliberation and disbelief, i took "the test". the ultimate woman's test.

the results?

positive!

yes, i am pregnant!