Friday, January 25, 2008

so ready

there have been so many days during this pregnancy where i have been scared out of my much so that i couldn't even look at the nursery. there have been times where i almost just shut the door to block it off.

i've been worried about how i will react to having two children. how will i be able to love two children equally? how will i be able to show my first born that he will always be my baby? how will i make him feel like he is as special to me as he has always been? how will he feel when he goes back to school and momma is staying at home with his brother? will i be neglecting a newborn in trying to reassure him? will my husband feel like he's been left in the background when i'm trying to give all this attention to my two babies? how will i show him he is as special to me as he has always been? how will i be? will i get depressed? how will i handle going back to work after four weeks?

so many questions arise.

i know we serve a God who is so faithful and will provide an answer to each question. things will be okay.


it will take diligence.

diligence in prayer, in reading the word, in seeking Him.

everything will fall into place.

when i started this post, i put the title on first..."so ready"...and as i started typing the emotions started flowing. the readiness has turned into anxiousness and fear.

but i'm not letting it take me over.

i am ready.

i am ready to hold my baby boy in my arms for the first time. i am ready to show him to his big brother. i am ready to have my little family of boys.

i am ready!

(i might need a little help though. please don't be strangers!)


Meems said...

Maybe that's one of the reasons God gives us so long to take it in. Nine months of a baby in your belly seems to be enough time for just about anyone to be READY for the challenge.

You'll do wonderfully. Better than most I'm sure.

marme said...

You're gonna be the best mommy to casen just like you are to jacob. and we'll be there...

ree said...

You are doing a great job, and you will continue to do so with God's strength and ability...not just your own. We'd all be in a world of trouble if we just had our own selves to rely on, huh?

Wendy said...

Having two is definitely more work, but SOOOOO much more fun. You'll love it. . . . Ok, so maybe not at first, but the first few months, though they are hard, go by fast.