bittersweet.

it's monday which means we're only two days away from meeting our baby girl. for so long it felt so far away. now i can't believe it's so close.

i'm currently flooded with all kinds of different feelings...anxious for her arrival, nervous about the delivery, happy that it's almost here, scared that something could go wrong, worried about how the boys will react, and mostly just ready.

but i'm also filled with feelings that are bittersweet. i'm brought back to a few months ago...december. december is when i thought we would be welcoming our third child into the world. obviously, God had other plans for us.

i have no understanding as to why things turned out the way they did...other than God is in control. i have total peace in that. i'm reminded a lot lately of the moments that surrounded when we found out and the days that followed. the pain and tears come flooding back every time.

my comfort comes in knowing that one day we will meet. one day, i will hold my third child...i believe to be a baby girl. i will kiss her and hug her and tell her how much i love her.

until then, sweet baby, rest in the arms of Jesus....afterall, what better place to be.

t ball.

jacob had his first t ball game on tuesday. does he seriously not look gigantic in this picture?! my baby is growing up. i can't even imagine how big i'm going to think he is once mya gets here...especially since sarah reminded me last night that there will be SIX years between my oldest and youngest child! thanks, sarah! :)

 getting ready to bat.

running to third.

he gets distracted easily. :)

waiting for the ball...or just posing.

look at that adorable, determined face.

yes, he had to be catcher for an inning. that gear swallowed him up. definitely not what he wants to play.

this will be a big part of our life for the next couple of months. one practice and one to two games a week...he's loving it though.

almost there.

i went to the doctor today. after waiting over two hours because she got called out for an emergency c-section...again...she pushed on my belly and said baby girl is still head down. yay! and then she checked my cervix. i'm dilated to between two and three centimeters right now. we have the induction scheduled for next wednesday, march 30, if mya's stubborn enough to wait that long. i truly believe she is. :)

this all leads me to the true reality that this is actually happening. for so long, i felt like it was forever away. now we're just over a week out...at the most. i have quite the to-do list going for before she arrives. not much of it involves actual preparation for her, just things i'd like to have done so i don't have to worry about them once she gets here. still, i'm starting to get a little nervous.

i mean, i'm going to have a GIRL! i still can't believe it.

i absolutely cannot wait to see her sweet face. and to know what color her hair is going to be. :)

soon you will be in my arms, baby girl. soon.

maternity pictures

just so i could say i had some taken, i asked jenny to get a few maternity shots before mya decides to make her appearance. i LOVE them! the light was amazing, and of course, jenny was right on.

there are a few more...i just haven't made it to editing them yet.

a few new additions.

in the past few weeks, i've added a few things to mya's nursery. mostly thanks to my mom who's a shopping finatic. and remember, there's a trip to san antonio coming this weekend. i'm sure i will have many more things to add following that. for now, take a look at the most recent additions.

the first two sets of pictures are new crib sheets. i got the fabric from hobby lobby and our dear friend wendy loaned me her sewing skills and transformed the fabric into crib sheets. she did an amazing job! they fit perfectly.

then we have freshly washed onesies and sleepers. this drawer is all newborn stuff. some of it is long sleeve. the way the weather's been going lately, i don't see it being worn much. that first stack is short sleeved onesies...only about 10 of them. i'll be adding to that.

this drawer is the bigger stuff...from 3 months on up. again, lots of sleepers, not alot of onesies.

and then there's the blankets. the majority of these are aden + anais blankets. super thin and adorable. that gray one is actually just a piece of jersey fabric that i plan to use for newborn pictures.

her closet is looking much better. again, thanks to my mom. and that chair on the right was actually my great or great-great grandmother's. whichever it belonged to, it's old. that blanket is one that i recently found at a garage sale. i just like the look of it.

on another note, i had my 36-week check up today. my doctor is unable to tell whether mya is head up or head down at the moment. she can feel something round and hard at the top of my belly and also something round and hard at the bottom of my belly. now, for me, my thoughts automatically go to head size. if my doctor can't tell her head and butt apart by the size, it could either be really good or really bad. if she has my butt...bad. if she has jerry's...good. i'm hoping for the latter. :)

i go back in a week. at that time she'll do an ultrasound to determine how she's facing. if she's head down, we're good. if not, she's going to try to turn her. i'm not at all thrilled with that idea. i don't know what it entails, but it doesn't sound pleasant. of course, the alternative would be a c-section. i just want a healthy, baby girl. whatever course we have to take to accomplish that, we'll do. i'd just like it to be the easier, more natural one. :) pray for that, please.