purpose

for the past 2 years, i've been wondering why i work where i work. why was i placed here? why haven't i been moved? what is my purpose?

i've been struggling with this alot because i know i haven't had the right attitude toward my job. i'm sure the reason is right in front of my face, i just don't want to see it.

i'm perusing through the paper today as i'm getting ready to leave school and i come across a little article in the San Angelo Standard Times entitled "Daily Promise". these are posted daily and i usually don't read the paper during the week, so i never notice them.

today, i did. it reads as follows...

Ephesians 5:20 Daily Promise

"Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;" KJV

"When you feel down, you may find it difficult to give thanks. Take heart--in all things God works for our good if we love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). Thank God, not for your problems, but for the strength He is building in you through the difficult experiences of your life. You can be sure that God's perfect love will see you through."

Life Applications Bible Notes

this doesn't tell me my purpose, but it does remind me that i am being taken care of. the God of the universe cares enough to put this tiny 3"x2" article in the newspaper for me to read in order to ensure that someday, my purpose will be seen.

someday, i will be stronger because of it.

papa's tractor

if you look closely, in this tractor sits my jacob with his papa (my dad). this is one of my all-time favorite pictures. it just captures the simplicity of joy...not only for jacob, but for my dad.

we got up saturday morning...the first time in 4 months or so that jerry didn't have to go to work...and after about an hour, we were already bored. how would we ever fill up our day with limited money but lots of time?

we decided to take a trip to the zoo in abilene...just half an hour from my parents.

my mom and sister met us there. my dad was, of course, on the tractor working. we had debated on whether to stay the night or just go home, but since he didn't get to go to the zoo with us, we decided to stay so jacob could see his papa.

we went to my parents' house and hung out outside while my dad cooked steaks. (he is the greatest steak cook ever!) the tractor was sitting in the field by their house. to jacob, every tractor is papa's tractor. it's so cute. so of course, when he saw it, he knew it was papa's and wanted to ride it. my dad told him he could ride it in the morning, because it was getting dark.

jacob is only 1 year and 9 months. you wouldn't expect him to even know what that meant. but my jacob...he accepted his papa's words and went on playing.

the next morning we get up and the first words out of his mouth..."ride papa's tractor"!

you can just picture the smile on my dad's face.

as promised, he got to ride "papa's tractor".

sad moment

this morning, i get up late, as i usually do. i follow my normal routine to get ready. i get dressed quickly, gather my things for school, and wake jacob up to dress him.

as he's waking up in our bed (he waited until 5:30 this morning), he stretches really hard and i swear he grew an inch or two. he looked so big.

it's been hitting me lately that one day he will grow up. one day he will go to school. one day he will graduate. one day he will bring a girl home. one day he will get married. one day he will have his own child.

quite frankly, it scares me.

i've begun to worry about him as he grows older. what will his life be like? will he be smart, popular, funny...will he follow Jesus...will he respect his parents?

and then there's the sad thoughts...

how can i protect him from everything bad? i know it's not possible, but as i listen to the heartbreaking story of the virginia tech incident, i can't get it out of my mind. what if something happened to him? what if one day i get a call? i can't imagine the pain they are going through.

i know i must trust the promise that our God will never put him through anything he cannot handle. yes, he will make his own choices, just as i did. i just hope that we will raise him well enough that those decisions will always reflect his love for Jesus.

wow! as i'm reading, this was totally not the direction i intended to go when i began this post.

after i got jacob ready this morning, we went out the door as we always do...

only today was not like every other day. today is april 18...the day after tax season. today, i would not take my little boy to daycare as i have for the past four months. today, jerry would leave with him and i would go to work.

i was so sad. jerry put him in his truck and i went to say goodbye. i asked for a kiss and he gladly gave one away. i told him i loved him and as i always do i asked him to say it back, not expecting anything to come of it.

but then, out of his mouth...

"i love you, momma."

my eyes welled up with tears. trying to hold them in, i quickly told jerry bye and got in my car and drove to work.

getting clean

as i said in the last post, sunday morning we slept in a little. with that and having breakfast, we were bound to be behind.

here's the clever thought i had...we all need baths, so why doesn't jacob just take a shower with me...we'll save some time.

ha!

jacob has never had a shower before...

here's his first experience...

it was hilarious...when the water hit his face, he started going nuts. he thought it was so funny...as did i. i called jerry in to take a picture to capture the moment.

what fun kids are!

(oh...and we were still late.)

just being together

my last post was about wanting to spend time with my husband...

aren't you so glad we have a God who listens and delivers?!

sunday morning, we all slept in until about 8:30. all three of us in the same bed...seeing as how jacob came into our room about 4:30 am...his normal routine.

we got up, i cooked breakfast, we got ready and went to church.

after lunch, we came home and jacob went down for a nap. jerry and i decided to work outside. we had gotten jacob a picnic table and sandbox some time ago and he hasn't been able to play with them yet. they have been stored and needed to be cleaned.

that lead to cleaning up the patio set outside along with the actual patio.

even though we were working, it was nice to just be together.

jacob woke up shortly after so we took him outside to play. we opened up the building in the back for the air to go through and played a little pool while jacob ran around.

again...just nice to be together.

i cooked dinner, we watched tv until jacob went to bed and then we watched a movie. the movie didn't end until 12 am...by far, the longest i have stayed up in while.

but again...just nice to be together.

that night, i was so thankful to have time to spend with my husband again. i know for us, and i'm sure for others, when you have kids, time alone is hard to come by. we love spending time with jacob, but it's also nice to just have married time.

it's nice to get back to what brought us together...what seems like so long ago...yet only 3 1/2 years. what a wonderful time it has been!

for my husband

as most of you know, jerry is a cpa. he is in the middle of full-fledged tax season. only 3 working days left of the seemingly unending 4 months. i cannot wait for this day.

he works so much and i am so proud of him. he strives to be the best and will settle for nothing less. this is why he has become so successful and is already building a reputable client base.

that said, i am ready to have my husband back. i am ready to come home from work and wait only 10 minutes for him to get home as opposed to 4 hours. granted, i am definitely exaggerating because only this week has it been this bad...but still, i am a baby when it comes to time with him.

in being this way, i get caught up in thinking of the time i've lost rather than relishing in the time we have.

for this i am sorry.

my dear husband,
i love you more than words could ever express. you are my very best friend. you have brought me unimaginable joy. i am so glad we were chosen for each other. i could not envision myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else.

you are a wonderful husband, dad, son, friend...and so much more. you do so many little things that never get noticed...or at least never said. know that i appreciate every thing you do. from making the bed in the morning to doing the dishes after a long day.

thank you for being so giving and always putting your family before anything else.

i love you so much. i only hope that my actions speak for the words that i forget to say.

i love you!

exercise

i'm not sure what the deal is, but i've felt the need to exercise lately.

i know...something's seriously wrong with me.

of course i'm not happy with the way my body looks, but that's never really motivated me to exercise before. i've just kinda accepted it and went on eating.

but lately, i've just had an itch...

i want to walk to the snow cone place and get a sugar free snow cone, or walk to the church to go to mops, or just walk around the block.

the funny thing...

i've been thinking this for about 3 days now and have yet to do it!

one last hunt

we managed to have one last easter egg hunt last night.
it was definitely cold, but we braved it.

not exactly the easter outfit we were planning on...
but he definitely had fun.

we went out to aunt dede's and had dinner and just hung out.
jacob got a carrot bat and ball from his cousin brandon.

i'm telling you...give the kid a ball and some kind of
hitting utensil and he's happy for hours!

this is definitely one of my favorite pictures. the look says it all!

here's jacob with his daddy.

and finally a rare picture with me and my baby!
seeing as how i'm always the one taking the pictures.

happiness

for those of you who live in texas, west texas anyway, you know the easter festivities have not been what they usually are. so much for the four easter egg hunts! we were lucky to get the one in before the snow came!!

all i know is i could never be a meteorologist. i must be in a profession where things are absolute...not "if - thens".

the point of this post, you ask?

even though the weather did not cooperate and my little boy has been cooped up inside for three days now...you could never tell by the look on his face.

inexplicable joy...

unexplainably ecstatic...

and then comes the "face"...

so, as we get caught up in what didn't happen, all he cares about what did.

if only we all could go back to the mindset of a child...still prepare for those things we have control over...and relish in the "un-preparing" of those we don't.

in a nutshell...happiness.

first easter egg hunt

jacob had his very first easter egg hunt at daycare today. last year he was only 8 months old, so he didn't really get to experience much.

he was so cute running around picking up eggs and putting them in his basket!

of course, this is the first of about four this easter, so more pictures will definitely be coming. for now, enjoy these!

so cute in bunny ears!

of course, we had to take time out to slide.





















and here he is with his daycare friends...michael, bella, luke and hannah.

excitement

there's nothing better than giving your child something that is sure to put a smile on their face!

here's my sweet jacob in his very first truck.

of course, we had to complete the look with cool shades.

we were worried that he would not be able to reach the pedal to go or even know to hold it down...we should've known better.

after a few trial runs with daddy pushing his foot down, he was off. we even drove around our entire block!

of course, now there's no excuse for not exercising. as soon as he woke up from his nap, he was ready to go again.

what have we done?!